No sooner has a conversation about birth begun does the tone turn towards the topic of pain. The horror stories emerge and in no time anyone who ever entertained the idea of parenthood has their legs firmly crossed.
An elective c-section with my first son, due to him being breech, meant I was a contraction-free zone. I was told I couldn't deliver without the chance of something bad happening to my baby. There are risks and I knew all about them, but it doesn't excuse the fear put in me, and thousands of others for that matter. I do, however, realize that medical technology is amazing for those who need it. But did I? I ended up handing over the trust I should have had in my body to a registrar doctor I never met. I even signed papers explaining that I understood I could die during the procedure. But I made the choice and he was born perfectly in the operating theatre. Though I have a botched scar on my abdomen to show for it.
Second time round I was told I should think very carefully about my decision to have the natural birth I yearned for. People everywhere felt the need to tell me about all the risks in having a vaginal birth after a c-section. Through my own investigation I discovered it to be well documented that there are fewer risks in a VBAC than in repeat c-sections but very few people told me that. I'm far from being the only one.
After a relatively long and drug-free labour with my second son I distinctly remember my first words were 'I did it!'. Obviously proud of my achievement, and completely oblivious to the millions of women who had given birth since the dawn of civilisation, I was surprised that my body could do it's job. I don't remember dwelling on the pain of labour even immediately after the event. I do recall telling visitors I'd do it again in a second. There were a few puzzled expressions. Yes it hurt, but it's life-giving pain and your own body has the best birth 'drugs' on the market to get you through that.
Birth should be a celebration of new life not a manifestation of fear and pain. It is truly amazing that we can create and deliver life and that it is completely natural to do so. There needs to be change in the way we as a society approaches birth.
I think this rant may indicate why I chose to become a Doula...
1 comments:
wow! that's a fairly powerful reason to become a doula.
i'm not sure if i'm being paranoid but i find that there is a lot of fear-based media around giving birth.
hmm. maybe it's in my head. but i like the idea of there being a group of women who are positive about birth, and actively so.
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